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  Emma glanced down at the journal for a moment forgetting she still clutched it against her chest and nodded. “Indeed. I found it while I searched through my trunk in my bedchamber. I forgot I still had it.”

  “You would not allow me to dispose of it, my dear,” her mother chuckled. “You adored writing in that journal almost as much as you adored traveling.”

  “It was wonderful that you were able to visit different places with us, my dearest Emma,” her father said and smiled sincerely at her.

  “And I enjoyed it as well, Mother and Father,” Emma said and glanced down at the journal in her hands. “I read through the pages and realized that there was one place I have not visited yet that I wished to. I still do, in fact.”

  “And where is that, my dear?” her mother inquired.

  “Edinburgh,” her father answered with a smile.

  “Father still remembers,” Emma grinned.

  “Of course. I recall I promised you that we would visit there one day,” he pointed out.

  “Indeed, and you never break a promise,” Emma said hopefully.

  He cocked his head and rested his arm on the side panel of the piano. “You are, indeed, correct. I am a man of my word, and I am fairly certain I understand. You wish to visit Edinburgh, see the castles and the lochs. The cliffs and the endless beaches.”

  “Indeed, Father,” Emma answered. “With everything that has happened the past few weeks, it would be a welcome break from the drama that seems to follow me even to the sanctity of my own home.”

  As her father prepared to rise abruptly from his piano stool, Emma raised her hand and said with reassurance, “Do not fret, Father. There have been no more incidents since the previous one. I simply wish to distance myself from my surroundings for a while.”

  Lord and Lady Montague exchanged glances and much to Emma’s surprise, her mother nodded happily. “That does sound like a wonderful idea, my dear. It will give Emma the opportunity to forget everything she has gone through, as well as experience the beauty of Edinburgh. I only wish we could accompany her.”

  “Surely you are not suggesting she go by herself?” her father asked in disbelief.

  “My love, she is perfectly capable of caring for herself, but I will allow one of the maids to accompany her, as well as Lewis, who will happily drive her there,” Lady Montague answered with assurance.

  “It is such a long journey—”

  “Father, please,” Emma interrupted and approached him. She took his hand in hers and met his gaze with hers. “It would mean the world to me if you would allow me to go. You, of all people, know how much I wish to travel to Edinburgh. I vow to not be irresponsible or place myself in a situation where I would be at risk. And Lewis does not need to drive me all the way. I would gladly travel by train. It would be such a scenic ride, and much more comfortable, as well.”

  Her mother shrugged her shoulders. Her father’s jaw was clenched as he pondered for a moment longer. “Very well, you may go.”

  Emma exclaimed happily as she embraced her father and thanked him profusely.

  “But you must promise me, my dear,” her father began to say, and Emma loosened her embrace. “You must promise to be safe, but also enjoy yourself. The highlands are beautiful and majestic, and will enchant your soul.”

  “I do not doubt that for a moment,” Emma smiled. “And I will be safe, my dear father.”

  “Then it is settled. We shall go to the train station and purchase a ticket for you and Anna, and you will be on your way.”

  “Thank you, Mother. Thank you, Father,” Emma beamed. “I have no words to explain my gratitude towards you.”

  “I will make arrangements with my cousin, Lord Falmouth. He would be delighted to have you stay at his estate in the outskirts of Edinburgh,” Lady Montague offered.

  “I would not wish to be a burden to anyone, Mother, especially not family whom I have never met,” Emma stated.

  “Nonsense. Lord Falmouth would be delighted to finally meet you. Perhaps his son, Lord Duncan could take you to a few of those treasured places,” her father said.

  Emma lowered her gaze. It was not the best of times, but perhaps she required another distraction to keep her thoughts away from William. It would most certainly be difficult, but it was necessary.

  “Is something weighing on your mind, my dearest child?” Lord Montague inquired.

  “I am perfectly fine, Father. I am merely overwhelmed with the thoughts that my greatest dream will soon be realized,” Emma said, and embraced both her father and mother once more. “From the bottom of my heart, I thank you both. I love you both dearly.”

  “We both love you dearly as well, Emma.”

  Emma glanced gratefully at her parents and quietly left the drawing room.

  She made her way back to her bedchamber and closed the door.

  She sat on her bed and continued to read the pages of her journal, recalling every thought as she read the lines she’d written. Remembering all the emotions she’d felt at the moment she’d penned them.

  Her old words made her excited for her future visit to Edinburgh. She could hardly wait to set foot on the train. To leave Somerset and all the troubles behind, even if it was only for a short while.

  Perhaps, she thought to herself as she leaned back against the soft pillows of her bed, she would adore Edinburgh so much that she would not wish to return.

  Would that be such a bad thing? She only wished to be happy. Not constantly reminded of the best and worst mistake she had made in her entire life. Was that so wrong to only wish to be happy, even if that meant leaving her family and her best friend in the entire world behind?

  Even if it meant leaving the only man she’d ever loved behind as well?

  Emma continued to read through the pages of the journal until the words swam in front of her eyes and she drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The ballroom was crowded as William made his way through the sea of guests attending the Duke and Duchess of Balfour’s ball. They were celebrating their lovely young daughter’s—Lady Celeste—first season.

  The ballroom was nothing short of spectacular, decorated in elegant blues and golds. The candles were lit in the chandeliers overhead, their flickering enchanting the ballroom. The guests were dressed in spectacular gowns, embellished with sparkling jewels, fit for kings and queens.

  It was rumored that there would be a royal guest or two present. It would not surprise William in the least if that were true. The Duke of Balfour was a very influential man with a strong and royal lineage that dated back centuries, and unfortunately for everyone who listened, he very much enjoyed boasting of it.

  William was unimpressed that he was yet again forced by his brother to attend the ball with his family. But despite his reluctance and resistance, he had agreed.

  Emma had not been seen at their estate since she had left a few weeks prior, so he remained hopeful that she would attend the ball tonight. There were so many things he wished to say to her.

  After the tragic proposal, where she had rejected him–despite admitting she cared for him—he had not seen or heard from her. It had been more than a week and his heart yearned to gaze upon her beauty, hear her voice and hold her close to him.

  The duke and duchess had left his side to mingle and converse with their acquaintances, but William didn’t care. He was preoccupied scanning the masses to find Emma.

  “William,” he heard beside him and glanced at the middle-aged, yet still perfectly able Duke of Balfour, “so good to see you.”

  He turned towards the gentleman who had been fast friends with his father. “And you, Your Grace. I must thank you for the invitation this evening. The ballroom looks magnificent.”

  “Many thanks, but I cannot take any credit for it. My wife and her maidservant are responsible for everything you gaze upon,” the duke answered.

  “The duchess certainly outdid herself.” William answered.

  “I
see you are alone this evening. I was under the impression there was a certain young woman who would accompany you. Or am I wrong?” the duke inquired, his grey brow furrowing, deep wrinkles spanning across his large forehead.

  “The rumor mill seems to churn without fail, I see.” William smiled, attempting to remain light-hearted, while his heart suffocated in his chest at the mere thought of Emma. When the duke didn’t respond, he said, “Regrettably, Your Grace, I am here alone.”

  “I do apologize for my lack of tact, but some good may come from this,” the duke answered.

  “And what might that be, Your Grace?” William inquired, intrigued by the old man’s words.

  “I would love to introduce my lord to my lovely daughter,” the duke answered.

  Oh...

  “Are you certain? After all the tales you have heard of me, Your Grace?” William asked in disbelief.

  “The rumor mill churns without fail, as you mentioned moments ago. But just because people speak of it, does not necessarily make it true, does it?” the duke asked, and winked at William. “I knew your father for a long time, and I am well aware of the morals and the values he instilled in both his sons. I have not a single shred of doubt in my mind that you are a good man. You carry yourself with pride and diligence, and that is precisely the kind of man I wish to introduce to my daughter. It would be a privilege, in fact.”

  “Thank you, Your Grace,” William nodded gratefully, but was certain he did not deserve such praise.

  “And,” the duke lowered his voice as he leaned in closer to William, “even if those rumors are true, I know that my daughter will be well taken care of, in all aspects.”

  He fought the urge to cringe and he would have protested if it had not been the duke who had uttered those words.

  Since the man had been a good friend of his father, he felt a certain duty towards him. Also, it would be terrible manners to simply dismiss the duke for being inappropriate.

  After all, the man only wished the best for his daughter, but William was not certain he was the best in this case.

  “Come along,” the duke urged him, and William followed the Duke of Balfour through the crowd, still fruitlessly searching for Emma along the way. The duke came to a standstill, prompting William to do the same. He looked up and before him was a young lady.

  Her golden hair was elegantly piled on her head and a few loose tendrils framed her face. Her green eyes were bright and innocent, and her skin glowed in the candlelight. Her pale pink lips were upturned in a hopeful smile.

  There was no doubt in William’s mind that she was a very beautiful young woman, but she was not Emma. Perhaps it would be better to simply forget about Emma, but as Lady Celeste looked at him, her green eyes sparkling with intrigue, he could only see Emma.

  “William, it is my utmost pleasure to introduce my daughter, Lady Celeste,” the duke said proudly. “My dear, please meet Lord William Seymour. He is the younger brother to the Duke of Somerset.”

  Lady Celeste held her hand out to William, and his manners served him well as he tenderly took her hand and kissed it lightly. “It is my greatest pleasure to meet you, my lady.”

  Lady Celeste’s cheeks colored instantly and she giggled softly. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, my lord. My father speaks very highly of you and your family.”

  “Perhaps he exaggerated slightly,” William chuckled.

  “Nonsense. Lord William is a fine gentleman who comes from a fine family. His father and I were very well acquainted,” the duke insisted. “Which makes it rather odd that you are only now being introduced to William this evening.”

  “Why have you been hiding this charming man from me, Father?” Lady Celeste joked.

  “I asked myself that same question, my dear,” the duke admitted and placed one hand on Lady Celeste’s shoulder, and the other hand on William’s shoulder. “I shall allow you two to get better acquainted. Please do excuse me.”

  William inhaled sharply as the duke moved from their side and he was left with Lady Celeste. “Your father is a great man, my lady.”

  “Indeed, my lord,” she said and glanced up at him. “But I am certain we have much more to discuss than my father.”

  William bowed. “I do apologize.”

  “I will only accept your apology if you will tell me more about yourself. Your likes, and dislikes. I wish to know more, from your own mouth, and not merely from what others have told me, my lord,” Lady Celeste said.

  “Very well,” William answered, though her interest surprised him.

  For the duration of the ball, William and Lady Celeste became better acquainted. He told her of his interests, his childhood and his secret love of poetry.

  Lady Celeste hung on every word, and although he felt rather unsettled by her undivided attention, he did not wish to seem rude by excusing himself. She was the duke’s daughter, after all, and he did not wish to insult him, or Lady Celeste, for that matter.

  William was also aware that it was wrong to give her false hope, but it was the lesser of two evils at that given time. He would merely have to find a good reason to make her believe he was not the honorable man her father had told her he was.

  His conscience suddenly rose to the surface and he felt guilty for even thinking of such a terrible thing. He had already done damage to Emma’s reputation and there he was, contemplating breaking another woman’s heart.

  He knew he did not deserve all the praise he’d received this evening, and his heart grew heavy in his chest. His late father would most certainly not approve of his choices. In fact, the late duke would be rather ashamed of him.

  Despite being more confident than his brother, he had always tried hard to be as important to his father as his brother was. It had been well known throughout society that the first-born son, the heir to the title, was treated differently to the other siblings.

  The first born was often referred to as the most important son, which was why he had done everything in his power to impress his father. He had even adopted many of his father’s habits, but his rakish tendencies had not been something his father had ever embodied as William had.

  As he listened to Lady Celeste speak of her own interests, he began to realize that this young woman knew very little of the world. She lived in a rather sheltered and protected space. She was the complete opposite of Emma in every way possible. Not only her physical appearance, but her manner of speaking and interests. Nothing about their time together sat comfortably with him.

  William couldn’t even ask Lady Celeste to dance. It simply felt wrong to hold another woman in his arms, and gaze into eyes of the wrong color.

  It was becoming extremely obvious that forgetting Emma was not an option. How would he manage to live his life when he had lost the most important part of him?

  Much later that evening, William sat quietly in the coach with the duke and duchess on their way home.

  They didn’t ask why he was quiet, even after he’d spent his evening with Lady Celeste. In fact, they didn’t ask him any questions at all.

  William appreciated the silence, as he had neither the strength nor the mental capacity to deal with queries for which he had no answers.

  His heart knew the truth, but since he had never truly followed the advice of his heart, he had to settle with the lingering regrets inside him. Perhaps this was fate’s manner to punish him for the terrible things he had done.

  Justice had, indeed, been served.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The excitement of Emma’s upcoming trip began to escalate quickly as her tickets were booked on the train in a few days. She had only a few more errands to run before she was ready, hence her reason for being in town.

  She had purchased three dresses from her favorite modiste and taken her father’s coach to collect them. As she walked through the establishment, she had noticed a few women whispering in her presence, but she did not acknowledge them in any way.

  Emma had decided that since she
was leaving Somerset for a while–and she was not certain when or if she would return, for that matter—she might as well take in the town one last time.

  When her father had returned home with two train tickets for her and Anna, she had been utterly delighted. Nothing was able to prevent her from embarking on her adventure.

  Not even thoughts of William would stop her from getting on that train, regardless of how much her heart yearned for him. Emma desperately required distance from Somerset, and traveling to Edinburgh would do her a world of good. Once there, she could re-evaluate her life and decide which direction she wished to go. Perhaps she might meet a man there who would sweep her off her feet. Although, if she were honest, she wished to have nothing to do with any man for a while.

  Emma watched as her footman carried her new dresses to the coach, and she cocked her head at the sound of a bell. She turned and noticed the door of the apothecary. She wished to purchase rectified oil of amber, as it helped several ailments.

  Her maternal grandmother had been a nurse, who had taught her many home remedies to fight illnesses. Emma simply wished to be prepared for any type of difficulty that arose, whether it was serious or not. She did not wish to be ill during her visit and would take any precautions possible.

  “Lewis,” Emma said to the coachman who assisted in placing her new dresses into the coach. “I must make a stop at the apothecary. I will only be a short while.”

  “Very well, my lady. I will wait here for you to return,” Lewis answered with a nod.

  “Thank you. Your patience is greatly appreciated,” Emma said with a smile.

  “It is my pleasure, my lady.”

  Emma made her way across the bustling street.

  Two young men stood outside the apothecary and glanced at Emma as she entered.

  She felt their gaze on her even after she closed the store door behind her. She dared not look over her shoulder at them, as she was well aware of why they stared so intently at her.

  The rumors of her fornication and antics with Lord William had reached their pinnacle, and despite Emma desperately clinging to the hope that the residents of Somerset would simply forget about them, it was apparent they would not. It seemed to grow worse with every passing day, and she could not wait to leave this town very soon.